Counselling & Psychotherapy
Here are some typical questions often asked by those considering counselling or therapy:
- What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?
- What issues can benefit from psychotherapy, and what do you specialise in?
- What is transpersonal psychotherapy?
- Do I have to have spiritual beliefs to have transpersonal psychotherapy?
- How do I know if you are the right therapist for me?
- How long does it take?
- Where do you work?
- How much does it cost? And what if I cancel?
What is the difference between counselling and psychotherapy?
Both counselling and psychotherapy involve talking through your issues with a skilled professional, who is trained to listen. Counselling generally involves receiving personal support and guidance to help you through specific problems or difficult transitions in life. It is a safe and confidential outlet for your confusion, anger or distress, and you will get to know yourself better through the empathic reflections of the counsellor. Counselling can be a very valuable and highly supportive experience.
Psychotherapy involves a deeper, more intensive process to clarify the underlying causes of your situation, which may be rooted in childhood or past traumatic experience. Most importantly, psychotherapy will involve a journey to heal old wounds that prevent you from living the life you want and from being your True Self now. Psychotherapy is a word originating from the ancient Greek and it literally translates as “to heal the soul”. A psychotherapist will have an in depth understanding of human nature and the psyche, and will work with you to achieve specific change with regard to thoughts, moods and/or behaviours.
Some clients know at the outset that they want to take responsibility for their lives, want to get to know who they really are and want psychotherapy. Others come for counselling due to a specific event, for example redundancy, bereavement or divorce, and are not so interested in a deep inward journey.
However, many are not quite sure what it is they need at the outset, or they feel they “only want some counselling” yet it emerges quickly in their sessions that there are deeper underlying issues after all. For these clients, counselling and psychotherapy often blend seamlessly together. For this reason, it is frequently said that there is little difference between counselling and psychotherapy. I believe there is considerable difference between short term counselling at one end of the spectrum, and long term deep psychotherapy at the other end. Yet in my everyday practice clients frequently want a mix of both the empathic support of counselling, and the impetus to change offered by psychotherapy. For this reason much of what I offer can be best described as psychotherapeutic counselling.
What issues can benefit from psychotherapy, and what area do you specialize in?
Many problems such as depression, stress, low self esteem, persistent relationship difficulties, anger, irrational or obsessive behaviour, addictions and compulsions can all be helped by psychotherapy – as can wounds caused by childhood abuse, sexual abuse or traumatic events in adulthood.
I am trained as a transpersonal psychotherapist to cover a wide range of issues including the types of problems just listed. I have experience of working with childhood trauma, through adult development to spiritual growth. The areas in which I have particular expertise are:
- Discovering and expressing your True Self, personal development, personal growth and self esteem.
- Relationships and family matters
- Codependency, being yourself within your family group or relationship
- Personal boundaries, personal clarity, saying Yes and No
- Parenting
- Sexuality, sexual response, sexual expression
- Couples work and intimate relationships
- Adoption, fostering, attachment and separation issues
- Loss of meaning, loss of purpose
- Life crisis, life transitions (eg divorce/separation/death and dying/redundancy and career choices) mid-life issues
- Bereavement, grieving, readjustment and letting go.
- Spiritual growth, dreams, creativity and visions.
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What is transpersonal psychotherapy?
There are many different types of therapy available. It is always sensible to explore what they are if you are unsure, to help find the right therapy for you.
“Transpersonal” means “beyond the personal” and is a shorthand way of referring to that which is beyond our conscious awareness. The Transpersonal thus refers to the spiritual element within us.
It takes 5 years to train as a transpersonal therapist. The training is integrative, covering many different styles of psychotherapy and counselling, and it is fully grounded in all aspects of child and adult development. Transpersonal Psychotherapy is close to psychodynamic therapy, in that it looks carefully at the relationship between your ego and your Self, and the dynamics that go on between them in your inner world. There is a mirroring relationship between the dynamic of your inner life and your outer life: reflecting on your inner life will clarify your outward life. As a transpersonal psychotherapist I will work with your creative imagination and your dreams to reveal the nature of your inner dynamic and how best to unfold and nurture your True Self.
We all have a unique and individual personality, known sometimes as your True Self and sometimes as your Soul Nature. A huge variety of life experiences as well as aspects of your own personality, including your fears about being and expressing your authentic self, may result in a loss of contact with your True Self. This can lead to depression, apathy, loss of meaning and motivation, and it can affect your physical well-being. As a transpersonal psychotherapist, I take the expression of your True Self as fundamental to fulfilment, and I am passionate about this aspect of my work. Whatever the obvious external issue that brought you to therapy, whatever the underlying causes of that, and whatever shape the resolution of your issues takes – behind everything will be the longing of your True Self to be seen, to be known, and to be in alignment.
In transpersonal psychotherapy personal breakdowns and life crises are seen as having a useful purpose, and not just as something to fight against. They act as a warning signal that all is not well, and they indicate the way for us to change, grow and unfold.
It is often a crisis or unwanted life transition that brings someone to therapy. Once the immediate crisis is over and some stability is present, there is a chance to re-examine yourself with a view to unfolding and creating a new life. The aim is not only to prevent a recurrence of the same crisis, but also to move into a new phase of life which is more fulfilling. This involves reassessing your sense of purpose and meaning in life, your visions and your strengths.
Much of transpersonal psychotherapeutic work is based on the fundamental principle of discovering and expanding your qualities. If you know what your qualities are and can create a lifestyle that enables you to express them, you are more likely to feel fulfilled. Achieving healthy balance in your new life going forward is important. This includes balancing your energies and lifestyle, grounding your aspirations in physical reality, creating a balance between being expressive and receptive, and finding your natural rhythm at work and home.
Do I have to have spiritual beliefs to have transpersonal psychotherapy?
No. It is not necessary for you to have any spiritual beliefs to have transpersonal psychotherapy. The focus will always be on your own objectives, and what is happening in your life now. I am trained to cover a wide range of issues and I have worked successfully with clients who are insistent they have no spiritual beliefs. However if you feel you lack purpose or meaning in your life even though otherwise all is well, if you feel you are at a crossroads, or if you feel there is something blocking your happiness that you can’t put your finger on, transpersonal psychotherapy may assist you in finding the answers you seek by looking within.
If you do have spiritual beliefs, if you are in or have followed a Twelve Step programme and want to be able to talk openly about your Higher Power in therapy, if you consider yourself to be on a spiritual journey through life and you take your Mind Body Spirit connection seriously, or if you are committed to your own spiritual development but keep meeting your Shadow, then Transpersonal Psychotherapy is most likely to be the type of therapy that will suit you best.
How do I know if you are the right therapist for me?
All the current thinking is in one accord on this point: it is the relationship between the client and therapist that is the most important factor in determining the success of the therapy. It is important that you feel comfortable with your therapist. At the initial appointment, I will ask you a number of straight-forward fact finding questions which will give me an in depth picture of you, your current life and what you want to achieve fairly quickly. The first appointment is also a chance for you to get to know me, ask me any questions, and decide if you want to continue with me. Choosing your therapist is as much an intuitive process as a rational decision.
If at the end of the first session we both agree I am the right therapist for you and you wish to continue with me, we will arrange a regular time to meet each week.
This may depend on whether you wish to come for counselling, or psychotherapy. Counselling is generally for a short-term period of 3 to 6 months and some clients are clear at the outset they want short term support. Psychotherapy usually takes longer. It is a journey of self discovery, in which you may reflect on the relationship between your feelings, thoughts, beliefs and behaviours. You are intending to get to know yourself in a much deeper way and to make long lasting changes for the better. However psychotherapy can be effective in the short term (3 months), as well as the medium and long term (6 months up to 2 or 3 years). Some therapies take longer depending on the individual circumstances.
How long your own therapy will take may depend on the nature of the issues you bring, how long they have been going on, your own life story and what you wish to resolve or develop. It is also affected by your own personality: your courage in sharing things you may have kept secret or feel ashamed of, your willingness to self-reflect, your ability to take an active part in your development, and how comfortable you are with making changes in your life.
For all these reasons, it is never possible to say how long an individual therapy may last. The best way is to commit yourself to the process and engage with it fully, as this avoids any preconceived ideas of where you should be at any point in your process. I am happy to work with clients for short, medium or long term according to both their financial means and their own wishes and needs.
I have practices in Little Venice, at CCPE, Beauchamp Lodge, 2 Warwick Crescent, London W2 6NE, and in Teddington, Middlesex.
How much does it cost? And what if I cancel?
Please contact me to discuss hourly fees. Sessions are weekly and last for 50 – 55 minutes. Once we have agreed to continue after your initial appointment, we will find a regular time for your sessions. I will keep that space for you, and it will be your space even if you have to cancel. This means you will have to pay for your session if you are unable to attend for any reason. You may choose to pay weekly or monthly in advance, as you prefer.
If regular weekly sessions are going to be difficult due to work or other commitments, or you want someone to support you on an ad hoc basis, please tell me at the initial appointment so we can discuss alternatives.
At the end, you may also arrange to have fortnightly or monthly sessions for a while to enable you to integrate your insights more gradually.
Finally, please remember that this section is designed to satisfy your natural curiosity and give you some general information. The real decision is whether or not there is a fit with your therapist, and that is largely an intuitive choice made face to face when you meet for your initial appointment. Psychotherapy can be highly beneficial for both individuals and couples, and can address a wide range of problems. However being unhappy or dissatisfied with your life now is not enough alone to make lasting change. Psychotherapy can be of the greatest benefit to those who:
- Are accepting about the need for change or growth, and are willing to self reflect
- Are open to the possibility that they play a part in the problems in their lives, and are prepared to take responsibility for their own part
- Are willing to put into practice the insights they have about themselves to create change
- Are committed to their personal growth
Psychotherapy is not advisable for those who are in the midst of a psychotic episode and who need hospitalisation.